Wednesday, November 02, 2005

The sinking of a Friendship


For Karry

So this was one of my best friends. I met her in 1986 in college art deparment. She is sweet and hard, thoughtful, caring. I was in love and she was providing everything my wife refused me except we weren't lovers. Her house was a refuge for me. She would always clip things from the paper she knew I'd be interested in. I needed to break it off or felt I did. I couldn't bring myself to tell her I loved her and needed to keep away from her before I asked to make love. She has a beautiful body.... great legs. I sabotaged the relationship and made her hate me. Hindsight I was surprised at how easy it was. Wow! She thinks I am this.... hmmm maybe I am. She was surprised when I knocked on her door to face her. "I didn't expect to see you here, at least you had the courage to come," she said. Part of her pain, I think, is that I knew her so well and used it. I threw this beautiful relationship away for a piss poor, sick, unhealthy marriage three or four years ago. The marriage ends within the month and I regret losing Karry. Karry, I think about you often. Unfortunately or fortunately, I shall never think of my soon to be ex.... like Karry.

Upon an altar of
Shallowness
Lies a friendship
Slain, limp
Conversation propelled
Its one athletic foot
Loved to tango, waltz
Ballroom dance
Around puddles and chasms
Of darkness
Frictionless friendship
Reconcile atrophied
But now the other shoe
Lites
A novice dancer
Full of dark glory
Dark puddles’ answer
Dark chasms’ partners, dancing
Splashing
Stalking, walking
On hind legs
Black star imploding
Fantasy foreboding
Now she dares me
To prove I am not
That thing
Ugly
And uncaged
“I don’t believe you”
On her tongue
Lighting the funeral pyre
Turning the final page
“Have a nice life”
Her pained defense breathes
And
“I don’t know you…”
Truth be known
Now you really do

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