Wednesday, November 02, 2005

The sinking of a Friendship

For Karry

So this was one of my best friends. I met her in 1986 in college art deparment. She is sweet and hard, thoughtful, caring. I was in love and she was providing everything my wife refused me except we weren't lovers. Her house was a refuge for me. She would always clip things from the paper she knew I'd be interested in. I needed to break it off or felt I did. I couldn't bring myself to tell her I loved her and needed to keep away from her before I asked to make love. She has a beautiful body.... great legs. I sabotaged the relationship and made her hate me. Hindsight I was surprised at how easy it was. Wow! She thinks I am this.... hmmm maybe I am. She was surprised when I knocked on her door to face her. "I didn't expect to see you here, at least you had the courage to come," she said. Part of her pain, I think, is that I knew her so well and used it. I threw this beautiful relationship away for a piss poor, sick, unhealthy marriage three or four years ago. The marriage ends within the month and I regret losing Karry. Karry, I think about you often. Unfortunately or fortunately, I shall never think of my soon to be ex.... like Karry.

Upon an altar of
Lies a friendship
Slain, limp
Conversation propelled
Its one athletic foot
Loved to tango, waltz
Ballroom dance
Around puddles and chasms
Of darkness
Frictionless friendship
Reconcile atrophied
But now the other shoe
A novice dancer
Full of dark glory
Dark puddles’ answer
Dark chasms’ partners, dancing
Stalking, walking
On hind legs
Black star imploding
Fantasy foreboding
Now she dares me
To prove I am not
That thing
And uncaged
“I don’t believe you”
On her tongue
Lighting the funeral pyre
Turning the final page
“Have a nice life”
Her pained defense breathes
“I don’t know you…”
Truth be known
Now you really do

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